I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
