I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
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