dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
