God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
