He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I would ride that face into the sunset
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
