Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
so let's talk penis.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
