dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
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