Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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