dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
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