I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize