how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
