I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
