I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
