Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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