Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
