If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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