If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
