Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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