i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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