Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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