why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
