i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
this is an emotional support booty call
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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