wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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