I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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