but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize