It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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