Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
