I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
The uberlube is also flammable
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
third nipple confirmed
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
