Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
