You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
