What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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