I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
