A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I need help removing her.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
