Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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