we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
