id be glad to
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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