Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Randomize
