I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
