So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
These tits shall not be calmed
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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