I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize