party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
