Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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