I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
