Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Do you have feelings for this penis?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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