I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Randomize
