Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Don't make out with my wife yet
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I love having hate sex.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
50% drunk capacity currently
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Randomize
