I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
