Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
