I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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