i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
