One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
