kristin has been a bad kristin
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
accomplished twins. life is a go
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
