i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
