I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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