Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Randomize
