No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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