Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
MIDGETS
????
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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