OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Drake has all the answers
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
