I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
