Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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