I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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