First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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