Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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