so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
