I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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