White coat. Heels.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
