There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
