Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
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