u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Randomize
