dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
